Combating the Holiday Blues

As the holiday season continues, we normally anticipate feelings of joy, excitement and celebration as we look forward to spending time with family and participating in traditions; but for many, that expectation doesn’t quite reflect the emotions we truly experience during those last few months out of the year.  

Dr. Kristy Cuthbert, the training clinic director at the Texas A&M Psychology Clinic, is well-versed in the ways in which emotions or mental wellbeing can be affected differently throughout the year. With her background including time spent in the military, clinical research and years of work treating trauma, PTSD, mood disorders, anxiety, stress and depression, Cuthbert is an expert in the field of clinical psychology and how the holiday season can impact mental health.

The holiday blues refers to a mostly temporary period of anxiety, stress, depression or fatigue that surfaces during the winter months. Many people tend to experience dips in mood, feelings of loneliness or experience grief during the holiday season that are related to a variety of factors.  

“According to the 2023 American Psychological Association report, nine out of 10 adults described event-specific anxiety during the holiday season,” Cuthbert said. “That goes back to who is planning the big dinner for the family, who is piling four kids into the car or who is waiting on their delayed flight to see their in-laws. These specific events bring about a lot of anxiety and an increase in stress.” 

One factor that plays a significant role in our mental health is the changes in routine or physical effects felt during the winter months. The weather changes and it begins to get darker earlier in the day, which can result in our daily routine changing; sleep cycles may be affected and activity levels can decrease, which may result in downcast moods and energy levels. This is referred to as seasonal affective disorder, a type of depression that typically peaks around January and February but tends to resolve as it warms up and daylight savings comes back around.  

Financial strain also plays a key role in the anxiety and stress felt during the holidays, especially in families with children. Travel, food and gifts can be expensive, and expectations during the holidays are heightened by an increase in spending that some can’t afford. 

For some, the holidays can also heighten feelings of loneliness and grief, especially for those who have experienced a recent loss. The season can sometimes magnify that absence and cause people to feel more disconnected, deepening the emotional weight of the holidays. 

“In general, we tend to look at the bigger picture as most people take time off, travel, see family and give and receive gifts — all of these things are generally positively anticipated events,” said Cuthbert. “But if we zoom in, not everyone is getting time off, travel can be stressful, loved ones can be absent and the financial strain of the season can be substantial. It’s that clash of ideal versus reality that creates a lot of tension during the holidays.” 

When you watch TV shows, movies and advertisements released during the holidays, you are usually watching a picture-perfect celebration: families gather and get along, sitting around for a perfectly made dinner and receiving the gifts they wanted. But this idealistic scene rarely reflects our everyday routines and emotional reality during the holidays.  

“I rarely see a movie or advertisement in which someone is getting into the same old family argument,” she said. “We see a family gathered around the fire sipping hot chocolate and getting along. But that's not reality for everyone, and it creates cognitive dissonance when we are not viewing something that matches our actual experiences.” 

This gap between expectations and reality can bring about frustration and disappointment. We expect to be happy, relaxed and grateful during the holidays, but the truth is that sometimes we get tired, stressed and lonely, which is completely normal.  

The unrealistic ideas we tend to create can also influence how people compare their holidays to others. We tend to compare how others celebrate the season with our own, and expectations are rarely fulfilled.  

“A holiday with just one parent is as fulfilling as being with extended family,” she said. “A holiday spent with friends can be as meaningful and receiving one gift can mean the same thing to someone as receiving 30. So don’t compare your holiday to anyone else’s and focus on what is meaningful to you.” 

A common belief is that suicide rates rise during the holidays, yet research consistently shows the opposite.  

“In 2023, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that December and November had the lowest average daily suicide rate, with the highest daily suicide rates occurring in August and July,” Cuthbert said. “This myth continues to be bolstered despite research debunking it.” 

Although people may experience more stress, anxiety and depressed moods during the holidays, they may also bring about moments filled with joy and connection that can protect against these harmful self-thoughts.  

Holiday-related emotions are common and mostly temporary if people receive the support they need and use designated methods to handle their mental health.  

“Being less active can lead to increased fatigue or low energy,” she said. “Changes in routine may cause appetite or sleep disturbances, which then affect mood and behavior. People may become more irritable or have trouble concentrating when their social batteries run out. Each of these factors can also lead to an increase in alcohol consumption as a coping mechanism.” 

There are several ways to help you maintain a positive outlook during the holidays, and stave off the holiday blues. 

“Stick to as normal of a routine as possible,” Cuthbert said. “Sleep is so important and so is staying engaged in your daily activities and chores. You don’t see it in the holiday movies, but sticking to your everyday routine or participating in routine physical activity can make a difference in preventing these emotions.” 

It’s also important to be aware of your “social battery” level and set healthy boundaries. Don’t ignore your social fatigue, as doing so works against you and you become drained, irritable or physically exhausted. 

“It’s okay to take time for yourself,” she said. “Go to bed early one night; take a break from going door to door caroling or looking at the lights. You can skip one activity to recharge if that is what you need. Come up with a pleasant list of activities that you can do that will help you relax and recharge.” 

Cuthbert also encourages sticking to healthy eating and drinking habits. Sharing festive foods and cocktails may be part of family traditions, but what we consume can significantly influence how we feel physically and emotionally.   

And most importantly: manage expectations. Someone is going to spill something on their white sweater, your dog is going to eat your dad’s turkey sandwich and your aunt will ask why you are still single.  

“We can’t control any of these things, but we can build them into our holiday lore and create humor-filled expectations,” Cuthbert said. “These imperfect moments are what makes the holidays real.” 

As you take care of yourself during the holidays, keep an eye out for others, as well. Check in on those who may not have a predictable holiday routine, including those in low-income households, veterans, the elderly or anyone who has recently experienced a loss. 

“Ask what kind of help they want or need, not only what you may assume,” she said. “That small gesture can do a lot of good and might help ease some of their emotional burden.” 

For people who are struggling in any way, The Psychology Clinic at Texas A&M is open to all students, faculty, staff and residents of the Brazos Valley, offering low-cost mental health support for anyone in need. Cuthbert’s role in serving the community involves training future psychologists and researchers while giving clients the care they deserve.  

“The holidays are not always perfect, and they rarely live up to our high expectations, but they can still be fulfilling and a time of joy and laughter spent with loved ones,” she said. “We just need to have grace for those shortcomings and humor for the mishaps that we can’t control.”